QUALIFIED COUNSELLOR
ANNA MACQUEEN
Specialising in grief,
loss and dementia
Welcome to griefcounselling.org
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What to expect from a counselling session
The initial counselling session will include a discussion of professional boundaries, a run down of how each session will be structured, (all counsellors will have their own way of structuring their sessions), and l will invite the client to introduce themselves and their situation – what is happening in their life currently which has led to the decision to seek out professional support and guidance.
Towards the end of the first session l will reflect back upon what the client has said, and summarise what it is they are seeking support for. I will explain to the client how l am able to support and guide them through this journey, what my capabilities are and what is a realistic expectation considering not only their circumstances, but also taking into consideration how actively a client is willing to work towards change and / or self-awareness.
What l will not do is tell you what to do as a directive, thus taking away not only your own power but also your culpability. A counsellor is not there to make your decisions for you – what we can do is support you to discover all of your potential, your possible causes of action and your possible alternative reactions and behaviours. I draw on a range of therapies when counselling grief and loss, however l have found both, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), used in conjunction with Narrative Therapy (NT) has been very effective.
CBT is based on the concept that our thoughts, (cognition), create emotions, or feelings, which in turn guide how we act, our behaviour/s.
If behaviours are causing concern then a CBT therapist would look at exploring a client’s thoughts and feelings in order to bring about a different behaviour. For example, in the case of a person grieving a significant loss, thoughts which focus on the hardest aspects of the loss will bring about a multitude of strong emotions such as anger. This in turn will bring about behaviours in response to these strong emotions, such a s social isolation and/or self-neglect.
The therapist would look at working with the client to reframe their thoughts so that the resulting emotions evolve into healthier behaviours. CBT promotes strategies which focus on increasing the sense of one’s own control and wellbeing, and can help facilitate adjustment to the client’s new reality.
In addition, NT was developed with three main intentions as it’s foundation: respect for the individual working through their challenges; a no-blame policy on the clients as they work their way through their story; and the client is the expert of their own story – the counselling relationship viewed as collaborative rather than client and ‘expert’.
In NT, clients are empowered and encouraged to actively ‘rewrite’ their story through discussion. This technique can allow a client a healthy distance from their pain but without complete avoidance, ( a type of gentle exposure), and allows them to externalise the issue if need be. Clients own the authority of their own story, and the therapist discusses the dominant story lines with them as these story lines influence decision-making.
A good counsellor will recognise when the client requires help beyond their scope of practice, and will assist the client to access more specialised help. The main thing that you will receive from me is to be valued with unconditional positive regard, and you will be invited into a relationship based on trust and hard work, with an aim to you ending our relationship feeling more empowered, validated, and having greater self-awareness.
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